“It’s so big!”

Shifting closer, I gently placed my hands on Jordan’s warm shoulders and slowly began to massage his taut muscles. “It isn’t that big.”

“It’s all red and puffy,” Jordan’s lips formed a troubled pout. “And it hurts.”

Sliding my fingers down his arms, I took both of his hands into mine and held them at his sides. “Just relax.”

Staring into the bathroom mirror before us, Jordan’s eyes raised and focused on my reflection as I stood behind him. “I am. It’s just annoying.”

Breaking our eye contact, I lowered my gaze and looked at the small, red spot on the side of Jordan’s neck. “It really isn’t that bad, Jord. Your collar practically covers it anyway and,” leaning closer, I placed my lips against the tender skin and kissed it lightly. “There, I’ve kissed it better.”

“Thank you.” Jordan flashed me a smile. “I think my lips hurt too.”

“Mmm, maybe I should kiss those better as well.” Stepping back, I released Jordan’s hands, allowing him to turn around to face me. We gazed at each other for a moment, my heart swelling with joy, before slowly leaning in and sharing a kiss. Reaching out with my hands, I found Jordan’s waist and drew him closer to me. The feeling of holding Jordan in my arms was unsurpassed by anything, except for maybe when his arms were encircling me. Deepening the kiss, the world around me seemed to glaze over, with all of my emotion flowing from my lips to his.

Three weeks had passed since we shared our first kiss and things between us were nothing short of perfect. It was a bumpy road for the both of us, but we came through to the other side stronger than before, though most importantly, we came through together. It was quite weird, as I’d always pictured a relationship with Jordan to be different somehow, yet once we were together, it simply seemed natural. Everything we did just felt right, like we’d been doing it forever. It was all of the small things of our relationship that made it so special for me. Just being able to reach out and touch him, to hold and kiss him, was nothing short of pure magic. To spend a day in the park or in one of our houses to mess about like the boys we were was an amazing feeling, one that always sent warm, tingling sensations coursing through my body.

Although things were going well for us, there had been a few negative developments outside of my growing relationship with Jordan. Brandon and Jim continued on as usual, as did both Hannah and Kelly. Torri, however, was still working hard to avoid me, and even then only really spent small periods of time alone with the girls. While it was clearly a dire situation, I had mixed feelings over the ordeal. One part of me ached to see how deeply our breaking up had affected her. Just knowing that I was the sole person responsible for causing such grief in her life really hurt me inside. I never wanted to hurt her, but in the same respect I couldn’t have gone on living the way I was, with me living a lie. Meanwhile, the other part of me simply couldn’t understand what was going on in Torri’s mind. True, I had broken up with her, but I’d tried to do it in the best possible way. I certainly hadn’t cheated on her, neither had I been anything less than supportive. It had been almost five-weeks since our relationship had ceased, yet she was no closer to the end of the tunnel than she’d been the day after I told her.

It was around one week after Jordan and I became a couple when my parents, after having received a phone call from Torri’s parents, told me to go and meet her to see if we could settle some things between us. Naturally I was quite alarmed by the request, hoping that Torri hadn’t told anyone about the circumstances surrounding our breaking up. I didn’t have any real problem about the random person knowing that I was gay, but our parents were a big no-no. The last thing I wanted was for Torri’s mum and dad to think I was going out with boys whilst dating their daughter. Of course that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but some people simply didn’t understand what it meant to be gay.

After having deliberated about the idea with Emily, Brandon, and Jordan, it was decided that I should at least attempt to see her. I spent one restless day, and one sleepless night antagonising over what would happen when we’d finally meet again. What would she say to me? Would she want to talk to me? What if she didn’t even want to look at me? Question after question entered my mind as I fought to retain some control over my thoughts. I focused all of my energy, all my strength and confidence into meeting with her and trying to set things straight between us. The hour finally arrived when I was due to meet her, my stomach threatening to empty its load at any given moment. Nervously stepping out of my house, I began my journey to her home, ready to see her, ready to return and be a friend to the person whose friendship once meant everything to me.

But Torri didn’t want to see me.

Unbeknownst to me the idea was thought up solely by Torri’s parents, who’d neglected to tell her that I was coming over to visit. Faced with my presence in her house, she locked herself in her room, unwilling to come out and refusing to see me. Having drained myself earlier that morning trying to get ready to meet her, I offered no resistance and instead headed back to my house. Once more Torri made it clear that she wanted me to stay away, if that’s what she wanted then I’d have to accept that, despite what her parents wanted me to do.

Unfortunately, Torri wasn’t the only member of our group who’d isolated themselves. One week later I was made aware of the situation with Nathan. He was still around, but for some reason beyond all of us, the boy had withdrawn from our group, deciding to be alone than be with us. My paranoid mind instantly wondered if he knew about Jordan and me, but when it became clear that he didn’t even want to be with Jim, the person who he was closest to, my suspicions were quickly dispelled. Regardless, even through some strained contact with Nathan, where he reiterated that he just wanted some time alone, we were still no closer to figuring out what was keeping him at bay.

Actually, the first sign of Nathan’s departure stemmed back to the Prom. In the end only Brandon, Jim, Kelly and Hannah had gone to the Prom. Although I’d known that Torri and I weren’t going to be there for obvious reasons, Nathan’s absence from the event was quite a mystery. Similarly, Stephen also chose to stay at home rather than go. Jordan still hadn’t spoken to me in detail over what had occurred between the two of them, but it did result in neither of them attending the Prom. Furthermore, it also led to Stephen isolating himself from everyone. Neither Jordan nor Brandon had any contact with him. It actually had me quite worried, but I knew there was little I could do seeing that I was the likely catalyst for the issue.

Pulling back from the kiss, the corners of Jordan’s moist, pink lips turned up into a smile. “I could do that all day.” His light-blue eyes danced in the bright, morning sunlight that streamed through the bathroom window.

“Me too.” I gently squeezed his waist before stepping back. “But it’s your first day, I don’t want to make you late.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jordan turned around towards the mirror, checking himself over for a final time before he gave a nod of satisfaction. “Ok, I’m done.”

Walking out of the bathroom, I followed Jordan across the hall and then down the stairs into his lounge, where Gary sat on the sofa absentmindedly watching the TV as he waited for us. Upon seeing our entry into the lounge he stood up, walked over, and began to survey Jordan’s attire with an acute stare.

“It’s the uniform they gave me, Dad.” Jordan retorted at Gary’s action, with streaks of annoyance in his voice.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you’re giving me the interrogation look.” Jordan folded his arms comically. “I won’t stand for that, Officer Lewis.”

Gary looked over at me and shook his head. “I can’t win with him, can I?”

“You’re right,” Jordan interrupted. “You can’t win, but I’d agree with you if you said that the colour of this shirt isn’t that good.”

Lowering my eyes, I focused on Jordan’s uniform, his work uniform. While Jordan had turned sixteen before Christmas he decided that he’d rather focus more time into his studies than spend it working. However, as soon as school finished for the summer he started looking for work. Luckily for him, his search didn’t even leave the house as Gary had already spoken to a friend of his, a man called Ronnie, who’d offered Jordan a weekend job in his coffee shop, poetically named Ronnie’s, in town.

After giving Ronnie a call to ask about the position, Jordan was invited down to the coffee shop to meet him and then spent a few hours learning about the job. He was shown how to interact with the customers and taught how to use the equipment. Once Ronnie was sure that Jordan knew what he was doing he gave him an apron to see how he’d do. It didn’t take Ronnie long to realise that Jordan was not only a hard worker, but one who was naturally good with people too. He let Jordan work for an hour longer before he sent him home, telling him to come back the following weekend and that his uniform would be in the mail.

Jordan was thrilled to get the job, just as I was equally as pleased for him. His uniform arrived three days earlier, consisting of two dark brown polo shirts, with Ronnie’s, embroidered over the front left pocket. The rest of Jordan’s uniform was made up of his dark school trousers, along with his black school shoes. I thought he looked great all dressed up, maybe even hot with the whole working man thing going on.

“It isn’t that bad a colour, Jord.” I scanned my eyes up and down his attire. “You look quite professional.”

“You said that when I tried it on the other day.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s true.”

Gary laughed as he walked past us and headed for the door, his car keys in his hand. “Come on, you’ll be late if we don’t leave now.”

“Just a minute, I wanna say goodbye to Mum and Jen.” Jordan called over his shoulder as he headed into the dining room, where his mum and sister were sitting eating some breakfast. As I was going to be travelling with Jordan into town, where he was due to start work in half an hour at ten o’clock, I followed him into the dining room where I also said goodbye. After Jordan received a hug and kiss from his mum, an act that forced a blush onto his creamy cheeks, we excused ourselves, walked over to the front door and slipped on our shoes. Once I checked his appearance, ensuring that he looked completely perfect, we stepped out of the door and closed it behind us, ready to start our day.

* 

Turning off the main road, Gary pulled the BMW into a vacant parking space outside of a parade of shops and brought it to a gentle stop. Making sure that the car was lined up with the curb and wasn’t sticking out onto the road, he shifted the gear into park and pulled on the handbrake.

Sitting in one of the back seats next to Jordan, I watched as he unbuckled his seatbelt and slide forwards towards his dad. “I finish at six, so I’ll get the bus back.”

“I’ll be here to pick you up.” Gary’s eyes flicked over to the wing mirror, watching two young guys speed past on a moped. “Don’t worry about the bus.”

“You sure?”

Gary turned around and looked at his son as a smile grew on his lips, an act I hadn’t really seen before until the past couple of weeks. “I’m sure. Now you go and have a great day. Tell Ronnie I’ll call him later.” Jordan arched his thin, right eyebrow in query at Gary’s last statement, causing the man to laugh. “Relax, I’m not checking to see how you did, I just want to thank him again for giving you the job.”

“Okay,” Jordan reached down and lifted up his bag before he locked eyes with me, flicking his head towards the door. “I’ll see you later, Dad.”

“You too, Jordan.” Gary raised his head and stared into the rear view mirror at me, where I sat seated behind him. “Are you leaving too Kieran or would you like me to drop you off somewhere?” 

A feeling of contentment rippled through my body at his question. Gary had certainly come a long way in the past three weeks. While at first the man was seemingly quite hostile towards me, he did, over time, begin to show me more of an outgoing and kinder side to his personality. I really didn’t expect him to have changed his view so readily, given his profession, but something had certainly challenged his perception of me. I didn’t really know what it was, neither did I care, all that mattered was that he was giving me a chance, a chance for me to prove that I was worthy of being his son’s boyfriend.

I shook my head, hoping he’d be able to see my smile in the mirror. “No thanks. I’ll get out with Jordan and walk him down to the shop.”

“Alright. I’ll see you both later.”

Reaching over, Jordan opened his side door and climbed out of the car. Not wanting to risk my timing with the busy road traffic passing by my side, I slid across the middle seat and followed Jordan out of the car. Turning around, I wished Gary another goodbye as I closed the door behind me.

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Jordan began to walk along the parade of shops. “Let’s go.”

Nodding my assent, I pushed my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans and walked alongside him as we headed to the coffee shop. I never tired of having Jordan next to me. There just seemed to be something so right about having him at my side, like we really were meant to be together. Before, whenever I’d journey through town I’d have Torri walk on my left side, but now Jordan was there instead. The fact that he was a guy changed things for me. I wasn’t the man of the relationship anymore, neither was I the protector, instead we overlapped and complimented each other in those areas. I was Jordan’s rock, just as he was mine.

Less than a minute later we found ourselves coming to a stop outside of Ronnie’s. Looking up at the large, brown coloured sign above the store, I instantly recognised it from my many visits into town, but it wasn’t somewhere I’d ever visited. While it was the only Ronnie’s coffee shop in existence, unlike the widely known worldwide chains, it certainly seemed to be doing very well for itself, given how busy the store was at that hour. Peering through the large windows, I examined the decor and found it to be quite modern and stylish, quite a difference to the place that I’d imagined Jordan to be working inside.

“This is it.” Jordan smiled at me. “Thanks for walking me here.”

“No problem.” Reaching out, I let the back of my hand graze his upper arm. “Call me at lunch? I’d like to know how your day’s going.”

“Sure. Probably around one o’clock.” Jordan tugged on the strap of his bag. “I should go inside. Don’t want him to think I’m lazy.”

I flashed him a toothy grin and continued to stare into his eyes. I wanted to kiss him. Not a passionate one, but just something to send him off, something that let him know how much I cared about him. I went to take a step closer towards him, but stumbled on a loose paving slab, forcing me to make a few awkward steps to avoid falling.

Jordan giggled as he took hold of my arm to steady me. “What have you been drinking, Kier?”

Raising my eyes from the ground, I quickly took in my surroundings, realising that there were quite a few people walking past us, not to mention those sitting in Ronnie’s next to the windows. Perhaps kissing Jordan wasn’t the best thing. While I really didn’t care who saw me, as it was rare enough to see someone I knew in town, let alone in the morning, it was Jordan’s first day in his first job. He didn’t need to take any extra heat because of something I hadn’t thought through.

“Kieran?”

“Sorry.” I returned my gaze to Jordan. “Yeah, you don’t want to be late.”

Jordan studied me before nodding. “Ok. Have a good day, Kieran. I’ll see you later.”

“You too, Jord. I hope it goes well.”

“Thanks.” Jordan winked at me and then walked over into the store. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Jordan pulled open the door and stepped inside, feelings of loss tugging on my heart as he turned and disappeared from sight. I stood there for a moment before I slowly began to walk forward, heading into the crowd of early morning shoppers.

Walking away from Ronnie’s, I was quickly enveloped by a deep sense of regret, a feeling that grew with each step. I shook my head and cursed to myself. I should’ve just bloody kissed him. How big of a deal would it have been? Jordan was out in school, high school no less. If he could handle that then a small goodbye kiss from his boyfriend wouldn’t have mattered.

There was also the question about me. What if someone had seen me kiss him? I was still closeted: a fact that didn’t seem quite right to me. Was there a reason to stay closeted anymore? Two months ago I was with Torri, so coming out would’ve been disastrous, but now I had a boyfriend. I wasn’t protecting anyone or anything by remaining in the closet. It didn’t make any sense.

Just as my mind was about to dive deeper into my conundrum, a familiar face came into view amongst the crowd. Sitting on one of the benches that aligned the main walkway was Brandon. A smile began to form on my lips, but was abruptly replaced by a look of incomprehension as I came to an immediate stop. Seated next to Brandon was a girl I’d never seen before. She appeared to be around our age, and from her physical closeness to Brandon on the bench, she was seemingly a very good friend of his. Although I was still a distance away from them, I could tell with relative ease that she was really good looking. Her silky, dark brown hair was of medium length and cascaded around the sides of a very pretty face before it rested against her slim shoulders. A plain white vest covered her body, coupled with a pink pair of shorts on her legs. She definitely rivalled Torri in the looks department, maybe even surpassing her in some areas.

Nothing about that bothered me, until Brandon leant over and kissed her cheek. 

Twice.

A shiver rolled down my spine as my stomach squeezed. Seeing one of the guys with a different girl every week wasn’t anything new to me. Jim rarely had the same girlfriend for more than seven days at a time and similarly lacked the ability to make any form of commitment, but never before had Brandon shown any signs of doing such a thing.

I turned towards a nearby shop and walked inside. I kept replaying the scene over and over in my mind, forcing myself to avoid coming to any rash decisions. I must have missed something. I knew I shouldn’t read too much into what I’d seen, at least until I knew more about the whole situation. Inching closer towards the front of the store, I peered out of the front window and looked across to where Brandon and the girl sat. They really did seem to be close. In some ways their interaction reminded me of how Brandon acted around Kelly, but I knew for a fact that they were only friends, so perhaps it was the same with this girl. Yet, as I watched on, their behaviour seemed almost flirtatious, at least Brandon’s actions could be seen as such.

A middle-aged woman entered into the store where I was standing, obscuring my view of Brandon and the girl. Turning around to see which store I was in, my cheeks burned when I came face to face with an entire wall of women’s underwear. Spinning around, I quickly realised I was in a women’s clothing store, one that Torri had always avoided because it was a store for grandmothers, or so she’d claim. I headed towards the entrance of the store and stepped out, my eyes locking onto the bench.

I was in two minds over whether I should approach Brandon or not. If he was seeing this girl behind Hannah’s back then surely he wouldn’t have done so in public. On the other hand, if he was seeing this girl, then my appearance would only make things difficult between us. No, walking over to see him was simply too risky. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I decided that I’d call him instead. Maybe I’d even be able to learn a thing or two as well.

Scrolling through my list of contacts, I tapped on Brandon’s name and held the phone up to my ear. After a few seconds I watched as Brandon pulled back from the girl, reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“Hey Kier.”

“Hi Brandon, how’s things?”

“They’re alright,” Brandon shifted on the bench and straightened up. “How about you?”

“I’m ok. Just in town after I dropped Jordan off at work.”

Brandon quickly glanced around. “Oh? Where abouts are you?”

“Near McDonalds.” I grimaced at the lie, but at least Brandon thought I was on the opposite side of town rather than several metres away from him. “Are you here with Hannah?”

“Me? No, I’m just by myself.”

A fleeting sense of light-headedness raked over me as I squeezed my eyelids shut. 

“Kieran?”

“Yeah, uhm.” I inhaled, watching as the girl appeared to be irked by Brandon denying her presence to me on the phone. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’re busy today.”

“Nah, I’m free. Want to meet up somewhere?”

“Sure. Want me to come to you?”

“It’s ok. I’ll walk over to you. Give me five minutes.”

Turning, I started to head towards the other side of town, wanting to arrive before Brandon. “Ok. I’ll just be on the benches near Macky D’s.”

“Ok. I’ll see you there, Kier. Bye.”

“Bye Brandon.”

*

Why did it have to be Brandon? 

Wait.

Why did I have to be the one to see it?

Once more I ran a hand through my hair as I sat waiting on the bench. There had to be an explanation to what I’d just seen. It simply didn’t make any sense for Brandon to cheat with another girl. I’d seen Brandon with Hannah less than twenty-four hours earlier and they seemed closer than ever. Why would he want to throw that all away?

Maybe I’d misread the whole thing. It was just a kiss on the cheek after all. Close friends do that sometimes. Yet, if it was so innocent, then why did he lie about being alone? My head began to throb, marking the onset of a headache. Brandon had been there through all of my tough moments over the past month, and he’d supported Jordan too. I couldn’t turn my back on the guy, regardless of what was going on. But at the same time, I simply couldn’t condone his actions if he was indeed cheating on Hannah.

A hand came to rest on my shoulder, causing my body to spasm from the unexpected contact.

“Whoa, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you jump, Kier.”

Turning around and looking up from the bench, I saw Brandon standing there, watching me with an amused expression. I stared deep into his dark brown eyes for a few seconds. I knew I had to give him the benefit of the doubt over everything I’d seen. He was one of my closest friends. It wasn’t right for me to judge him based on what little I’d seen or witnessed. A smile worked its way onto my lips as I stood up. “It’s alright.”

“You sure?” He laughed and shook his head. “You jumped like I hit you.”

I laughed it off. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” Lowering my eyes, I looked down at the bag in his hand. “Anything for me?”

“Unless your name is Hannah, then no.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow. “You’re treating her to something?”

“Yeah.” Brandon pulled on the bag that dangled from his hand. “It’s just a top she wanted last week but they didn’t have her size. Thought I’d surprise her.”

My grin widened at his gesture, reinforcing my previous thoughts of his loyalty to her. “Aren’t you a good boyfriend?”

“I try.” Brandon walked around me and flicked his head towards one of the men’s clothes stores. “You good to stay in town for a bit longer?”

“Sure.” Sliding my hands back into my pockets, I walked over to Brandon. My mind quickly pushed away any of its previous doubts, leaving me with just the usual warmth I felt whenever I was around Brandon, allowing me to enjoy the rest of the afternoon with him in peace.

* 

“Awww, isn’t that the cutest thing ever?”

Reaching over, I picked up a pillow off my bed and threw it in Brandon’s direction. “Shut up.”

“It’s true.” Brandon continued to stare at my phone, or rather, the background image I’d set on the screen. “I have Hannah as mine, so it’s cool you have Jordan on here.”

Craning my neck, I looked over at my phone and at the photo of Jordan. Warmth filled my stomach at the sight of my beautiful boyfriend as my mind recalled the exact moment when I’d taken the photo. It was taken in Jordan’s kitchen about a week earlier when we were sitting opposite each other at his breakfast bar eating some ice cream. I remembered it being a super hot day, so I was teasing Jordan about the two of us skinny-dipping in his hot tub. I was being cheeky about it too, earning myself a few of Jordan’s intense stares, but it got really interesting when I made a comment about seeing his cute little bum, which caused him to spill some chocolate ice cream down his shirt. With my phone laying beside me, I picked it up and quickly snapped a picture, just in time to catch Jordan giving me another one of his stares. The photo was great, but the image had been burned into my memory.

“He probably has one of you on his phone.” Brandon’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah he does.” Leaning over to my desk, I picked up my glass of coke, took a sip and then shifted back against the headboard of my bed as I focused on the TV. Brandon and I were back at my house after our trip into town. While I was previously caught up in the idea of Brandon cheating on Hannah after having spent the last few hours with him and hearing what he said about her, I knew that such a thing was quite unlikely. Of course, it still didn’t answer the question of who the girl was and why he never mentioned her to me when I called him, but it didn’t seem like it was anything too serious. At least, that was the impression that I was left with.

“I think he heard me.” Brandon sat up and extended my phone towards me. “Jordan’s calling.”

Reaching out, I took the vibrating phone into my hands as my ringtone started to sound, before I tapped on the screen and answered it. “Hey Beautiful.”

“Hey Kieran.” Jordan’s smile came through clearer than his voice.

“How’s your day going?”

“Yeah, it’s good thanks. I’ve been quite busy but I’m liking it here.”

“Everyone treating you nicely?”

Jordan laughed, my heart jumping at the heavenly sound. “Yes, everyone’s really nice here. The food and coffee’s good too.”

“Oh? You get free stuff?”

“Yep. How about you? Having a good day?”

“Mmm, it’s ok. I’m just at home with Brandon, but he’s a lousy substitute for you.”

“I heard that!” Brandon flipped me the middle finger.

“Tell Brandon I’m sorry for leaving you with him.”

“Hey.” I smiled. “It’s not my fault if I miss my Jordan.”

“I know, I miss you too.”

I briefly pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at the background image of Jordan on its screen. For a moment I wished that I could push my lips through the phone and give him a kiss.

“I finish at six today anyway,” Jordan continued as I pulled it back to my ear. “You can come over, if you’d like.”

“You sure? I don’t want to if you’re too tired.”

“I’ll be ok. It’d be good to see you later anyway.”

I bit my bottom lip as my body tingled. Jordan really knew how to play with my emotions. “Ok, I’ll come over.”

“Good. Ok, I should head off. I need to finish my lunch and get back to work in a bit.”

“That’s fine.” I paused for a moment when Brandon’s phone received a text, before I continued. “I’ll see you later then, about half-six if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, that’ll be cool. I’ll see you later, Kieran.”

“You too, Jord. Bye.

“Bye.”

Hanging up the phone, my mind was momentarily filled with images of Jordan before I looked over at Brandon, wondering who texted him. “Hannah checking up on you?”

Shaking his head, Brandon slipped his phone back into his pocket. “No, just a guy I know from class.”

“Stephen?”

“No.” Brandon frowned. “I’m sorry, Kier, but he still isn’t talking to me either. I wish he was, but it seems like he just wants to be left alone at the moment.”

I let out a sigh and focused out of the window. While Stephen really wasn’t that close of a friend of mine, I did know that Jordan really valued his friendship. After all, the two guys were supposed to be best friends. Although I had both Jim and Brandon at my side, Jordan and Stephen only really had each other as friends. Jordan did have me there to support him, but Stephen had no one, especially after he didn’t even want to speak to Brandon, someone who he considered to be a close friend through their mutual interests in the sciences.

“I’m sure he’ll be ok soon.” Brandon climbed up the bed and sat beside me. “You’re not still blaming yourself about that, are you?”

“I don’t know. Part of me is, I mean had I not gotten angry at Stephen in school then maybe…”

“Stop.” Brandon’s hard tone caught me off guard. “We spoke about this weeks ago. Don’t bring it all back now.”

Raising my head, I stared over at him, seeing the sincere and serious look in his eyes. He was right, we did have the same conversation a few weeks earlier, just after Jordan and I became a  couple. It was quite a lengthy conversation too, one that I really needed to share with someone, if only to bounce some of my feelings off. The truth was that I did blame myself for the breakup in Jordan and Stephen’s friendship. Brandon tried to show me another perspective, that Stephen was just as guilty as I was. Beyond that, even Jordan factored in as well, as whatever he said to Stephen alone clearly assisted in forming the current situation.

“You’re right.” I broke eye contact and looked away. “Isn’t Stephen supposed to be going away soon, on that science trip?”

“Yeah, he leaves tomorrow. He’ll be back in two weeks.”

Great. I sighed again. Just when things between Jordan and I were on the up, things with Stephen were being pushed back even further. While Jordan didn’t try to show his sadness about his best friend’s absence, I still knew that it affected him deeply.

“Maybe it’ll be good.” Brandon shifted on the bed. “He’ll have some time alone to think things through. He’s not a stupid guy, I know he’ll be back with Jordan soon.”

“I hope so, Brandon. I really do.”

 *

“You didn’t have to shower for me.”

“I didn’t. I did it for me.” Jordan laughed, the gentle quaking of his body vibrating through the other end of the sofa where I sat. “I stank of coffee when I came home. Even Dad mentioned it in the car.”

Tearing my eyes off the TV, I looked over to Jordan where he lay facing towards me on the sofa. His hair was still damp from the shower, causing a few stray strands to cling to the sides of his face. Lowering my gaze, I stared at the loose fitting, light grey t-shirt covering his body, and then down to the navy pair of shorts. I wasn’t quite sure if he was wearing underwear underneath, probably not given that he’d just showered. Allowing my eyes to continue their descent down his incredible body, I soaked in the image of his long, smooth, hairless legs, before I finished on the two socked feet that lay resting in my lap.

Inhaling, I smiled at the scent of apples rising up from Jordan’s body. “Mmm, well, you smell really good now.” Reaching down, I took one of his feet into my hands as my mind lost itself in a myriad of thoughts, most of them concerning Brandon.

“What is it?”

I lifted my eyes to Jordan’s face, his eyebrows shooting me a curious expression. “Nothing. It’s no big deal.”

“Tell me.” Jordan moved his foot against my hand. “If you want.”

I parted my lips to speak but paused and closed them again. I suddenly found myself hesitating over whether I should tell him or not. It wasn’t really fair of me to give him a one sided view of what I’d seen, especially when he hadn’t been there to witness everything himself and come to his own conclusion. Though, on the other hand, there was still something that irked me about what I’d witnessed. There were simply too many questions floating about. Who was the girl for a start? But more importantly, why did Brandon feel it necessary to keep her a secret from me?

Swallowing hard to moisten my dry, itchy throat, I began to relay a step by step account of my morning back to Jordan. An uneasy wave of apprehension crashed down on me once I’d finished speaking. Was I really doing the right thing in telling someone else? Or should I have just ignored what I’d seen? 

“Hmmm, it does seem a little weird.” Jordan spoke, breaking the small, silent void that had descended around us.

“Yeah, like, why would he tell me that he was alone when he was with her?”

“I dunno.” Jordan sighed. “And you’ve never seen the girl before?”

“No. Does she sound like anyone you know?”

“Not really, but there are a lot of girls with blond hair… and not all of them go to our school.”

I slowly nodded my head. I didn’t really expect Jordan to know the girl; his circle of friends didn’t stretch much further than mine did, but it would’ve been nice to at least know who she was.

“Maybe Kelly knows who she is.”

“Perhaps I’ll ask her or something.” I replied, unsure if I should actually act on it or just bury the whole thing as nothing more than complete speculation.

“Stephen would be good right about now too. He knows a lot more people from the other schools than I do.” Jordan added softly, as if relaying a stray thought.

I looked away and tried to ignore his last comment, not wanting to revive the feelings of guilt over the ordeal surrounding Stephen. Staring at Jordan and sensing the change in his demeanour, I decided to change the topic. Clearing my throat, I casually surveyed the two socked feet resting in my lap before I spoke. “So is Ronnie a good boss?”

“He’s really nice. You know, he’s only thirty-two.”

“Oh?” I glanced at Jordan’s face. “Is he good looking?”

Jordan thought for a moment. “He’s ok. But I’m already taken.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Today was actually really fun. It felt good to work, like real work.” Jordan shifted against the sofa, his eyes briefly flicking down to my lap and then back up to my face. “Learning how to use the machines was good as well. I, uh, there’s a lot of coffee to learn though.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“It’s not too bad. I mean, they’re all…” Jordan trailed off and sat up on his elbows, his eyes once more focused on my lap as an amused expression came across his face. “Kieran, what are you doing?”

I finished pulling off his left sock, leaving both of his feet bare before I acknowledged him. “Nothing.”

Jordan studied me with curiosity and then laid back down on the sofa. “Anyway, it was quite good today.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I’m a little tired though,” Jordan spoke through a yawn, an act my body mimicked. “But it’s all ahhh…”

A smile came to my lips at Jordan’s exclamation as I slowly but firmly slid my thumb up to the ball of his foot. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No.” A purr escaped his mouth. “It feels good.”

“Ok.” Drawing small circles on his silky skin with my fingers, I began to massage him softly, careful not to tickle him. Jordan’s feet really were something special. I wasn’t quite sure what it was about them, their size or shape, but they just seemed perfect. It went beyond a simple foot massage, just knowing that he was comfortable enough to let me touch him in such an intimate way really meant so much to me.

I continued to lightly knead his feet for several minutes; his gentle moans and slow breathing acting as natural indicators for my hands. Raising my eyes from his feet to his face, I watched as he lay there with his eyes closed, a serene expression of relaxation displayed across his delicate features. My heart squeezed at the angelic sight. Never before had I felt so deeply about anyone or anything than I did towards Jordan. Goosebumps rippled over my skin as my gaze drifted lower over his body, my teenage hormones riding through my bloodstream in a fervent blaze.

Something changed inside of me in that moment. Jordan must have felt it too, for his eyelids fluttered open as he focused on me. I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but I knew we’d moved into a different territory, something that was several stages above what I’d ever felt before. Our eyes connected in an intense stare, one that forced time to pause as our souls embraced. 

Like a fleeting summer shower the contact ended as soon as it began. Blinking a few times, my eyes returned to Jordan. His lips broke out into a heavenly smile as a grin blossomed over my own face.